Ooberman - The Magic Treehouse

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Physics Disco

Welcome to the physics disco
Where all the boys are dancin' on their own
Come into the physics disco
When the lights come on we'll blink and wander home

Welcome to the physics disco
I don't believe I recognise your face
That's because we're media students
We've come to make a film cause you're so ace

Next year at the physics disco
All the boys will still be on their own
We hoped you liked our physics disco
With friends like us you'll never be alone

Written By:
D. Popplewell/A. Flett
Found On:
The Magic Treehouse
Hey! Tour Bootleg: Radio Oob (Live)
Andy: I was just finishing my PhD at Birmingham when we Physics lads went to the Christmas party in this huge pub in Selly Oak. Upstairs was said disco. We arrived about 8pm; it was dimly lit and virtually empty. Pale Goths hung limply around the edges like bats and a few garrulous members of staff held drunken court with flustered undergraduates. I remember watching a drunk student dancing on his own under the glitter ball on the empty dance floor. Nothing out of the ordinary then, as it was early, and people were just starting to come in. Just then, I spotted a pair of confident looking types with a big video camera going around, interviewing people and sniggering. I overheard their sarcastic tones and in a flash realised that they were media students, no doubt working for student TV, making some kind of evil documentary about Christmas parties and different courses! I imagined their footage of our painfully dull party cutting away to other courses and their happening parties. This made me mad: mad at them for being smug twats, mad at society for laughing at 'spods' (whilst being only too happy to benefit from scientific advances) and mad at myself for limiting my chances of reproduction simply by my choice of course! Eventually, the party filled out and soon, all the physics lads were pogoing to Dexy's Midnight Runners and The Human League. The male to female ratio was its usual sterile fraction, and in another painful moment, I noticed an enclave of uninterested girls dancing together, while hopeful physics lads tried vainly to make eye contact through their glasses. The girls were having none of it, and I noted the way the prized bubble of girls slowly drifted around the dance floor, impermeable to the last. At least we lads had each other, but to be fair, things are improving in the world of physics these days as far as getting more girls involved goes. Hard subjects will always attract people with talents that go beyond superficial good looks or social grace and its a crime that physicists don't get paid extra to compensate them for putting up with the derision of a society they help to prosper!

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